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For Landlords Only or “The Care and Feeding of Tenants”

Landlord or landlady, I’ve been working for you and your fellow zookeepers for thirteen years and I could tell you some stories. But I won’t bother. For every story I told you, you could tell me ten.

My hat’s off to you. Somebody has to provide housing in this society, and I assure you that it isn’t going to be me. I know that hard work in the field of rental housing can pay good money (don’t laugh; it’s really true!), but there’s not enough money in any honest work to make me endure what you go through.

The biggest problem a landlord has is his tenants, right? Of course! If you could just keep the tenants out of your houses, landlording would be easy.

But they go with the territory, don’t they? And when the plumbing isn’t working, the tenants call you. Never mind that they’ve been pouring grease down the sink; never mind that the handle has been jerked off the vanity drawer and flushed into the toilet to stop it up; never mind that a gob of latex and sanitary products the size of a large rabbit has the sewer line blocked, never mind that the shower curtain has been torn off the rod for six months and the floor around the tub is ruined; . . . they don’t fix it themselves, they don’t call a plumber, they call YOU!

If you did your own plumbing, you probably wouldn’t be reading this web page. Instead, you probably hire the work out to somebody you hope that you can trust. From my own experience, I suspect that trust is uppermost in your hierarchy of concerns.

Let me describe to you how other landlords do business with me. They call or text me on the phone and say, “Kevan, go find out what’s wrong and fix it and fax me the bill.”

And then they dismiss it from their minds and go on about their other business.

My arrangement with a new landlord who doesn’t know me is usually to meet him at the job site and have him watch me and pay me there. Later he will have me go check out the problem, call him to describe the problem and the anticipated cost, and call him when I’m done. Eventually he skips the intermediate steps and says “Just fix it and keep the tenants happy.”

Over time landlords discern that I care about their property and about saving them money as much as I would if I were a co-owner of the property.

A landlord has to cut costs to the bone if he ever expects to make a profit off the property; but more important than that is the need to have a conscientious and experienced person doing the work. I believe that my prices are the lowest of any true professional in Memphis.

Lowest price, greatest dependability; managing rental property just got easier.